Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year
To me, a new year had never meant so much before. It has always been a normal day to stay home and slack my hours away. Or rather, I was too anti-socialised to do anything. For this year, I could say that it has been much more meaningful than others.
After knowing that you might leave Perth to study abroad for a few months, I don't know what to say. I tried to forget about the whole thing but it seems to just float in my mind all the time. I think to myself - from the time we started going out until our recent six months anniversary which is near Christmas - I will have to spend those six months all by myself and without you by my side... all to me seems so unreal. I'm trying not to expect too much cause I have a strong feeling that you will go. After all, not all relationships will be always stable. There must be some sort of obstacles around. Since new year, I think what will happen and how life will be ahead of me. I became so scared sometimes... I'm not as strong as you think I am. But I will try to be no matter what happens.
There are some things that I can't control.
Nevertheless, I'm glad that I've spent the first few hours of the new year with you. Love you loads. I hope we can do that every year.
*HUGS*
After knowing that you might leave Perth to study abroad for a few months, I don't know what to say. I tried to forget about the whole thing but it seems to just float in my mind all the time. I think to myself - from the time we started going out until our recent six months anniversary which is near Christmas - I will have to spend those six months all by myself and without you by my side... all to me seems so unreal. I'm trying not to expect too much cause I have a strong feeling that you will go. After all, not all relationships will be always stable. There must be some sort of obstacles around. Since new year, I think what will happen and how life will be ahead of me. I became so scared sometimes... I'm not as strong as you think I am. But I will try to be no matter what happens.
There are some things that I can't control.
Nevertheless, I'm glad that I've spent the first few hours of the new year with you. Love you loads. I hope we can do that every year.
*HUGS*
blessed with love ... at 12:14 PM
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Tired And Missing You
It's Wednesday today. Haven't seen you for two days but talked to you a little for these two days.
After hearing your little car incident today, suddenly feel so... weird. I know that you are a careful driver and won't risk your life but I can't trust other idiots on the road. Maybe you're just unlucky yesterday. Let's hope this won't happen again.
But then again, drive carefully!
Haha, it's funny cause we were on the phone in the train and you started complaining about your car. I actually thought it was a bit funny but that was because you sounded so angry. On another hand, I was worried but since you were doing most of the talking, I had almost no chance to ask if you were okay. So assuming you were as you didn't mention about being injured or anything. I won't complain today although I have nothing much to complain about. Lol. Maybe I should give you a break from all my complaining. So tired though.
Glad I'll get to rest for 4 days for the following weekends. Hopefully, we'll spend more time with each other after Christmas and your post office job has decreased.
One more day to go before I will be so bored like today. Everyone's so busy working at night... no one to talk to.
xD
I miss you loads!
After hearing your little car incident today, suddenly feel so... weird. I know that you are a careful driver and won't risk your life but I can't trust other idiots on the road. Maybe you're just unlucky yesterday. Let's hope this won't happen again.
But then again, drive carefully!
Haha, it's funny cause we were on the phone in the train and you started complaining about your car. I actually thought it was a bit funny but that was because you sounded so angry. On another hand, I was worried but since you were doing most of the talking, I had almost no chance to ask if you were okay. So assuming you were as you didn't mention about being injured or anything. I won't complain today although I have nothing much to complain about. Lol. Maybe I should give you a break from all my complaining. So tired though.
Glad I'll get to rest for 4 days for the following weekends. Hopefully, we'll spend more time with each other after Christmas and your post office job has decreased.
One more day to go before I will be so bored like today. Everyone's so busy working at night... no one to talk to.
xD
I miss you loads!
blessed with love ... at 7:13 PM
Monday, December 11, 2006
Ken's Sound Asleep
Hey Hunnybear (:
Someone's sound asleep... haha. So cute!
Yup yup. Over at your house at the moment and you're too tired. I don't know how but you fell asleep and is snoring. Hehe.
LOVE U!
Someone's sound asleep... haha. So cute!
Yup yup. Over at your house at the moment and you're too tired. I don't know how but you fell asleep and is snoring. Hehe.
LOVE U!
blessed with love ... at 10:12 AM
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
So Blue Without You
Two days without seeing you =
Not like I have to see you everyday but it just seems so weird nowadays when I don't get to see you much. But it's only been two days! How come I'm missing you so much! Lol, I could even wait for a week before. Oh well, Kenny Hunnybear is working at the moment.
So bored...
Nothing much to do cause no one to talk to.
You finished at 10pm tonight. Jia you le! Hope you won't be too tired to drive home. *Hugs*
Well, since I haven't talked to you today, I shall just tell you about my day.
It wasn't much. Early early in the morning at 3.15am... I creep out of bed cause my alarm went off. Surprisingly, I didn't miss my alarm. You said you would call up at 3am to ensure I took that. But you didn't. I got a bit worried cause I didn't want to take it at the wrong time. So I had to check my clock several times, ensuring I wouldn't be a 'sotong'. Until I was very sure that it is 3.15am, I took it. Then I think I prank you. Or did I? Lol. Can't remember. But I was worried that you will get worried when you get up in the morning, forgetting to wake me up. So I thought I would prank you. But suppose you didn't hear. It's okay. At least I did all the things I need to do.
I woke up at around 7am due to la bi xiao xin's voice. Lol. Yup, your message. But I was so tired I went back to sleep. I knew I had to get up at 7.15am. I kinda went back to sleep again until my mom woke me up. Feel normal this morning. Not feeling sick anymore. Everything seems fine. I took the packet out and checked that I actually did take it.
Showered. Got changed. Ate breakfast.
Mom drove me to work. Yer, pretty much the same thing like before. I got there and I was slightly cold. I looked so weird with my arms folded as I walk into Midland Gates Shopping Centre. I walked into Gin Sushi and start my day again. It's like repeating my duties once again.
Refill some drinks. Wait for the rice to be cooked. After that, I put my gloves on and start making sushi. The first few ones was pretty crap. But my tuna one was really nice. Maybe I'm trying to practise it so I can make some for you next time. Hehe. Yeh, you love your tuna. I remembered. The tuna sushi was quite popular today. So I'm quite happy with my sushi. But I wasn't allowed to touch the counter today. *Sighs* The bosslady don't seem to trust me with that - she said I missed out on a lot of things and lots of money was lost. But then again, if I actually did miss out alot of things, I would have known. Cause if you ordered 2 meals and a drink, you will know it will be a pretty big number. How can you miss that?! The only possibilities is missing out the drinks.
But the reason why working there seems so hard for me is because the bosslady seemed to loves the boys better than the girls. Furthermore, I was the only one working that is unrelated to them. Simply just a random working there and getting their money. It's annoying cause I always get scolded for the same thing other people do when they don't. But what to do... work is like that. So one long day gone...
Came home and did more work. Brought the bins in and collect the clothes on the line. After that, I folded the clothes and clear up the stuff. Then vacuum and clean up my room. After all that, I went for a shower. As I was in the shower, you will be surprised how many things is going through my mind. Firstly, I was thinking... all my acts today is so... housewifey. But I have to admit that doing house chores at home is easier than working outside. After I started working, my laziness has just reduced to almost zero. Cause I have to remain consistent to get my pay! So as I get home and do more chores, it seems more easier. Cause you can do it without being under pressure of being told what to do. You can do whatever any time you want and no one will command you to do this and that. Cause if you are lazy, your house will be messy. If you do your housework, your house will be clean and tidy. So basically it reflects yourself.
Especially after what has happened, my thoughts is just filled with family stuff. Not that I want one now. But I think about how my future will be like. Would I be working or be a housewife that my husband will pamper me? Hehe... I don't know the answer. But oh well. Life is unpredictable.
Something happened that totally contradict how I was feeling. Mom got home with Cath and Rach after I got out of the shower. She told me to make dinner for Cath and Rach. I agreed without hesitation when normally I would frown and give this me-again look. Lol. And normally when I make noodles, I put in noodles and egg. That's all. Today, I specially cut fishballs and lettuce to put in the noddles. As I was cutting, Cath made a comment, 'I can never see you as a housewife.' That just made me laughed.
I sat down and watched TV cause I have finished everything I could do. Thinking about work tomorrow. *Cringes* Starting to dislike work a bit cause of my treatment.
Oh well. Oh I realised something really really bad today. I'm having cravings. BIG BIG cravings. I started looking through this cooking book and drooling all over it. I was soo craving for something nice to eat that I almost wanted to go make spring rolls even after all these stuff I have been doing in the day. Is that a sign?
Haha. Other than that, everything's just as usual today.
Oh oh, plan something for the 12th (: Well, I don't mind getting off work that day but I need to know in advance. If not, I will have to see you after work at 2pm. If you can be bothered coming all the way to Midland to see me. Would you?
*Hugs*
Have fun at work.
REENY MISSES YOU!
Not like I have to see you everyday but it just seems so weird nowadays when I don't get to see you much. But it's only been two days! How come I'm missing you so much! Lol, I could even wait for a week before. Oh well, Kenny Hunnybear is working at the moment.
So bored...
Nothing much to do cause no one to talk to.
You finished at 10pm tonight. Jia you le! Hope you won't be too tired to drive home. *Hugs*
Well, since I haven't talked to you today, I shall just tell you about my day.
It wasn't much. Early early in the morning at 3.15am... I creep out of bed cause my alarm went off. Surprisingly, I didn't miss my alarm. You said you would call up at 3am to ensure I took that. But you didn't. I got a bit worried cause I didn't want to take it at the wrong time. So I had to check my clock several times, ensuring I wouldn't be a 'sotong'. Until I was very sure that it is 3.15am, I took it. Then I think I prank you. Or did I? Lol. Can't remember. But I was worried that you will get worried when you get up in the morning, forgetting to wake me up. So I thought I would prank you. But suppose you didn't hear. It's okay. At least I did all the things I need to do.
I woke up at around 7am due to la bi xiao xin's voice. Lol. Yup, your message. But I was so tired I went back to sleep. I knew I had to get up at 7.15am. I kinda went back to sleep again until my mom woke me up. Feel normal this morning. Not feeling sick anymore. Everything seems fine. I took the packet out and checked that I actually did take it.
Showered. Got changed. Ate breakfast.
Mom drove me to work. Yer, pretty much the same thing like before. I got there and I was slightly cold. I looked so weird with my arms folded as I walk into Midland Gates Shopping Centre. I walked into Gin Sushi and start my day again. It's like repeating my duties once again.
Refill some drinks. Wait for the rice to be cooked. After that, I put my gloves on and start making sushi. The first few ones was pretty crap. But my tuna one was really nice. Maybe I'm trying to practise it so I can make some for you next time. Hehe. Yeh, you love your tuna. I remembered. The tuna sushi was quite popular today. So I'm quite happy with my sushi. But I wasn't allowed to touch the counter today. *Sighs* The bosslady don't seem to trust me with that - she said I missed out on a lot of things and lots of money was lost. But then again, if I actually did miss out alot of things, I would have known. Cause if you ordered 2 meals and a drink, you will know it will be a pretty big number. How can you miss that?! The only possibilities is missing out the drinks.
But the reason why working there seems so hard for me is because the bosslady seemed to loves the boys better than the girls. Furthermore, I was the only one working that is unrelated to them. Simply just a random working there and getting their money. It's annoying cause I always get scolded for the same thing other people do when they don't. But what to do... work is like that. So one long day gone...
Came home and did more work. Brought the bins in and collect the clothes on the line. After that, I folded the clothes and clear up the stuff. Then vacuum and clean up my room. After all that, I went for a shower. As I was in the shower, you will be surprised how many things is going through my mind. Firstly, I was thinking... all my acts today is so... housewifey. But I have to admit that doing house chores at home is easier than working outside. After I started working, my laziness has just reduced to almost zero. Cause I have to remain consistent to get my pay! So as I get home and do more chores, it seems more easier. Cause you can do it without being under pressure of being told what to do. You can do whatever any time you want and no one will command you to do this and that. Cause if you are lazy, your house will be messy. If you do your housework, your house will be clean and tidy. So basically it reflects yourself.
Especially after what has happened, my thoughts is just filled with family stuff. Not that I want one now. But I think about how my future will be like. Would I be working or be a housewife that my husband will pamper me? Hehe... I don't know the answer. But oh well. Life is unpredictable.
Something happened that totally contradict how I was feeling. Mom got home with Cath and Rach after I got out of the shower. She told me to make dinner for Cath and Rach. I agreed without hesitation when normally I would frown and give this me-again look. Lol. And normally when I make noodles, I put in noodles and egg. That's all. Today, I specially cut fishballs and lettuce to put in the noddles. As I was cutting, Cath made a comment, 'I can never see you as a housewife.' That just made me laughed.
I sat down and watched TV cause I have finished everything I could do. Thinking about work tomorrow. *Cringes* Starting to dislike work a bit cause of my treatment.
Oh well. Oh I realised something really really bad today. I'm having cravings. BIG BIG cravings. I started looking through this cooking book and drooling all over it. I was soo craving for something nice to eat that I almost wanted to go make spring rolls even after all these stuff I have been doing in the day. Is that a sign?
Haha. Other than that, everything's just as usual today.
Oh oh, plan something for the 12th (: Well, I don't mind getting off work that day but I need to know in advance. If not, I will have to see you after work at 2pm. If you can be bothered coming all the way to Midland to see me. Would you?
*Hugs*
Have fun at work.
REENY MISSES YOU!
blessed with love ... at 12:12 PM
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
next chapter
glad it wraps haha... funny enough but not exactly funny.. alrite.. lets not go there..
but yeh.. i suppose it was a hard decision whether to giv it away or not but everything happened too quickly and i suppose i did not regret it.. and yeh.. do feel weird.. just thinkin of what happened and how it happened and whats oing to happen next.. its just funny :P hehe.. ah well
love ya sweetie.. i wont talk too much here :D
but yeh.. i suppose it was a hard decision whether to giv it away or not but everything happened too quickly and i suppose i did not regret it.. and yeh.. do feel weird.. just thinkin of what happened and how it happened and whats oing to happen next.. its just funny :P hehe.. ah well
love ya sweetie.. i wont talk too much here :D
blessed with love ... at 3:31 PM
Feeling Sick
Today is the first day of me being slightly different.
In a way, I don't feel too much different... but I became more careful with myself every now and then. It's funny. Cause my behaviours are quite different from how I used to be. I was pretty much careless and definitely a complete 'sotong' before. But today, I think before I act. Although it slows me down a bit, but I wanted to be safer.
After taking 'that', I really wonder why I'm doing so. It seems like everything has changed. What issit? My values? I'm not sure. I don't feel uneasy, but I feel weird. It's like I've never been like this before. Maybe I will get used to it soon.
It has been a day of me feeling quite sick after taking 'that'. Just a bit sick and not in a mood to even jump around and be hyper. Like the geninue Irene has disappeared for the moment. I want to get back to normal. But I guess I will have to wait for another 24 hours.
After typing up to this point, I just have to say that I have not regret what has happened. Really... you should know that. Like what I've said the other day. You know the reason for everything I do for you. It's cause I love you. I don't know if you have regret. Cause I'm not a person who will easily give that away. Maybe you don't know but that's all I could say.
Other than that, we shall keep the rest in our minds. If you have anything to say, blog (:
In a way, I don't feel too much different... but I became more careful with myself every now and then. It's funny. Cause my behaviours are quite different from how I used to be. I was pretty much careless and definitely a complete 'sotong' before. But today, I think before I act. Although it slows me down a bit, but I wanted to be safer.
After taking 'that', I really wonder why I'm doing so. It seems like everything has changed. What issit? My values? I'm not sure. I don't feel uneasy, but I feel weird. It's like I've never been like this before. Maybe I will get used to it soon.
It has been a day of me feeling quite sick after taking 'that'. Just a bit sick and not in a mood to even jump around and be hyper. Like the geninue Irene has disappeared for the moment. I want to get back to normal. But I guess I will have to wait for another 24 hours.
After typing up to this point, I just have to say that I have not regret what has happened. Really... you should know that. Like what I've said the other day. You know the reason for everything I do for you. It's cause I love you. I don't know if you have regret. Cause I'm not a person who will easily give that away. Maybe you don't know but that's all I could say.
Other than that, we shall keep the rest in our minds. If you have anything to say, blog (:
blessed with love ... at 2:43 PM
Friday, December 01, 2006
Wrong message across? But No More Fights!
I'm meant to write I'm not complaining about you being protective but I guess I got the wrong way round =\ I have no problem with you being protective of me cause I know you care about me (:
And no more fights! Not often anyway. I know I shouldn't have said much last night but if you were me, you would've said something to me as well. I can't say that I know you very very well cause to say the truth, I really don't know how you will react to me talking to you. But I was partially hoping that I wouldn't say anything wrong but obviously, I did... which is a pain in the butt. That's why I said sorry. Hopefully you have calm down by now? Maybe we were just tired last night. That happens.
*Sighs*
I hate having arguments with you too. I get so annoyed with myself when I'm causing these arguments. Not with you.
I feel so bad cause I try to make everything better but I always make things worse in the end.
But at the end of the day, you know I still love you.
Life would be so incomplete without you.
And no more fights! Not often anyway. I know I shouldn't have said much last night but if you were me, you would've said something to me as well. I can't say that I know you very very well cause to say the truth, I really don't know how you will react to me talking to you. But I was partially hoping that I wouldn't say anything wrong but obviously, I did... which is a pain in the butt. That's why I said sorry. Hopefully you have calm down by now? Maybe we were just tired last night. That happens.
*Sighs*
I hate having arguments with you too. I get so annoyed with myself when I'm causing these arguments. Not with you.
I feel so bad cause I try to make everything better but I always make things worse in the end.
But at the end of the day, you know I still love you.
Life would be so incomplete without you.
blessed with love ... at 8:08 AM
Thursday, November 30, 2006
here i am..
sorry, i hvnt been in the mood to blog anyway.. i havnt been in the mood to do anything.. im just getting lazier and lazier... but yeh.. nonetheless i think i should reply all the "questions" u gave me.
Sorry if i pissed u off for the past few days but i suppose i felt the same form u too and lets not go there.. I don rly want anything to end up being an argument because i hate that. I absolutely hate to hv a fight with u.. -
I hv to agree that i hate to be told what to do. No one actually dictates wht i do next.. not even my mum i will tell you. I do things whenever i want to do it, as much as i know how bad it is for me as a person i cant really help it because this is just me. I doubt i can ever change unless some kinda thing hit me in the head and change me *touchwood* coz tht would hurt.
well there are two possibilities of whats gna happen if you start to feel im being less protective.
1. is tht i've finally see the good side of letting you do whtever and just trusting you (not that i dont..) on everything.. well.. i suppose its not u that i dont trust.. is other ppl..
2. i'd hate and u'd hate this to happen. up to now.. for the past how many years i've lived.. when i get less protective on someone.. is when i actually dont like them like i used to anymore.
I know its stupid, but i think for this case, i'd prefer me being bit protective if i were u.. its just the thing..
now i sound like im a selfcentred guy, want everything from u and not giving... maybe thats the case.. i dont know.. i rly dont understand myself. im so confused tht i might not even know my name by the time i finish writing this.. haha.. jks..
i dnt know. thts all i have for today.. hmm..
yeh... going to go out later to get my police clearance...
Sorry if i pissed u off for the past few days but i suppose i felt the same form u too and lets not go there.. I don rly want anything to end up being an argument because i hate that. I absolutely hate to hv a fight with u.. -
I hv to agree that i hate to be told what to do. No one actually dictates wht i do next.. not even my mum i will tell you. I do things whenever i want to do it, as much as i know how bad it is for me as a person i cant really help it because this is just me. I doubt i can ever change unless some kinda thing hit me in the head and change me *touchwood* coz tht would hurt.
well there are two possibilities of whats gna happen if you start to feel im being less protective.
1. is tht i've finally see the good side of letting you do whtever and just trusting you (not that i dont..) on everything.. well.. i suppose its not u that i dont trust.. is other ppl..
2. i'd hate and u'd hate this to happen. up to now.. for the past how many years i've lived.. when i get less protective on someone.. is when i actually dont like them like i used to anymore.
I know its stupid, but i think for this case, i'd prefer me being bit protective if i were u.. its just the thing..
now i sound like im a selfcentred guy, want everything from u and not giving... maybe thats the case.. i dont know.. i rly dont understand myself. im so confused tht i might not even know my name by the time i finish writing this.. haha.. jks..
i dnt know. thts all i have for today.. hmm..
yeh... going to go out later to get my police clearance...
blessed with love ... at 2:28 PM
Tuesday Night Tenting
Ok, I really want to take back what I said but I will leave it there. I don't even know if you read anymore. Ok, under ignorant... fine.
Tuesday night tenting was fun. But I was really grumpy. Get pissed off over little things? Get pissed off at you and everything. I didn't mean to but I can't help it. Sometimes it's just normal reflex. I guess if you do read this then you will understand more. But if you don't, what can I say.
You know, I get angry easily. Not because I'm "xiao qi". It's because I cannot stand some things sometimes. I also know that I have my own temper. But when I get angry, I cannot take back all the words I have said. Hence that's why I feel so sad when I get angry at you. I feel so angry that I feel like crying. I can't help it much. I know you try to understand as well. You are very protective of me and I'm complaining about that cause I like it. But I think I'm holding you back too much that you are losing your freedom. I don't think you like it cause I could tell. That's why the more I told you not to do something, the more you want to do it. Nothing much I can do. I tried to change but because you are so protective of me as well, I feel like I'm always stuck to you and rely on you alot. I suppose that's a good and bad thing in a way. But there's just this feeling that I cannot be separated from you all the time. When I do, I just get so uncomfortable. So maybe you understand why you don't much freedom after being with me. I don't know if there is really the case. Suppose you can tell me via next blog entry... if you decided to READ the blog =
Yer, I can't get over the no-trace-of-ken in this blog. It makes me uncomfortable and I think too much. I hate it.
Tuesday night tenting was fun. But I was really grumpy. Get pissed off over little things? Get pissed off at you and everything. I didn't mean to but I can't help it. Sometimes it's just normal reflex. I guess if you do read this then you will understand more. But if you don't, what can I say.
You know, I get angry easily. Not because I'm "xiao qi". It's because I cannot stand some things sometimes. I also know that I have my own temper. But when I get angry, I cannot take back all the words I have said. Hence that's why I feel so sad when I get angry at you. I feel so angry that I feel like crying. I can't help it much. I know you try to understand as well. You are very protective of me and I'm complaining about that cause I like it. But I think I'm holding you back too much that you are losing your freedom. I don't think you like it cause I could tell. That's why the more I told you not to do something, the more you want to do it. Nothing much I can do. I tried to change but because you are so protective of me as well, I feel like I'm always stuck to you and rely on you alot. I suppose that's a good and bad thing in a way. But there's just this feeling that I cannot be separated from you all the time. When I do, I just get so uncomfortable. So maybe you understand why you don't much freedom after being with me. I don't know if there is really the case. Suppose you can tell me via next blog entry... if you decided to READ the blog =
Yer, I can't get over the no-trace-of-ken in this blog. It makes me uncomfortable and I think too much. I hate it.
blessed with love ... at 12:32 PM
Sigh
I'm so tired now but I don't really know what to type here. It has been a fun day but the lack of sleep is just making me too grumpy.
Don't know why but I just feel so sad. It's so like what the hell, what are you doing. Just wish I could go for a sleep and then wake up and be happy again. But probably quite impossible right now. I guess it's just the weather and "that" and so on.
And, WHY IS THIS BLOG SO QUIET! Ken... at least tag =
You stopped writing on the book. Now I have a blog right here for you (24/7 computer user) and you don't even use it. What's the purpose of this?
*Sighs*
So quiet.
I feel like I'm talking to myself. Am I?
Don't know why but I just feel so sad. It's so like what the hell, what are you doing. Just wish I could go for a sleep and then wake up and be happy again. But probably quite impossible right now. I guess it's just the weather and "that" and so on.
And, WHY IS THIS BLOG SO QUIET! Ken... at least tag =
You stopped writing on the book. Now I have a blog right here for you (24/7 computer user) and you don't even use it. What's the purpose of this?
*Sighs*
So quiet.
I feel like I'm talking to myself. Am I?
blessed with love ... at 12:18 PM